Too Old for Teenage Angst
How do I sum up the day today? Or more like yesterday as it's 0200 EST Friday so I'm talking about Thursday. How do I sum up my thursday?
It started out well. Forecast Fox was telling me that we have a weather advisor alert (temps at 32 degrees at night) and the morning weather was something like in the 40's feeling hi 30's.
I woke up, was anticipating going to an interview for a volunteer position working at the Grace institute in new york (google it). I found it using volunteermatch.org. A pretty worthwhile site. I was figuring that this would give me practice interviewing as well as broaden my networking abilities since I know next to zilch people here in NY.
Then after that I'd go with my wife to this Shakespeare performance in Columbia (kings something or other play group) and they were to perform their rendition of the merchant of Venice.
Those were our plans for the evening. So in the morning and afternoons I'd hang out do some emailing and shopping. I even got an email from an old co-worker that up and left Los Angeles for the cloudy skies of Oregon. That was neat she emailed me. I hope she emails back as she has an interesting personality and an excellent bullshitter (see my interests). We could talk... I mean work... and converse all the same and just BS to our hearts content. The day sure went by fast. We even devised a way to pick lotto numbers (trying to beat the system) as well as figure out what we'd do with our shares of the winnings and how much better the world would be if we were in charge. Yeah, Rock and Roll in the white house, Integrity, style. All the things the whitehouse has lacked in the past. (oh, if you go to google, input failure in their search field and click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, it will be a blast).
Arghr. Enough tangents, were was I... Yeah, things were going swell but then all of a sudden I started to feel like crap. full of angst and doubt and self pity I guess. Gosh, I hate that. Must be part of the chemical imbalance or something. Just hit me. I don't know. ( I know in a previous post I'd swore i'd not replicate/duplicate what I'd done in my old journals, being sappy and all moody and morose but it seems I can't aviod it. sigh. At least I won't be pining after any females anymore. I read some of my old journal entries to my wife and it was embarrassing. It was like flllliiiiip...february...I met this girl...Flllliiiip...july...why do I feel this way about her....Fllllliiiiip...november...I talked to her today....Ayyyee. I'd never had thought twice about it until i re-read it. Kinda sad though. I use to write some of these women and do "romantic" types of gestures... Back then we had no email so this was paper and cards mind you... and I don't do that for my wife. when she went to school for a semester, i'd only sent her about 2-3 cards. I guess there is a object lesson here or something and I should do something nice and thoughtful for her).
ugh, another tangent. where was I?... Oh, feeling sorry for myself and self pitying. I think I'm getting over that "episode" at the moment. I guess this blogging stuff works. Better than Prozac with out the side affects! or is the effects?... I'm thinking for a medication it would be both...
So, things are well and I shouldn't be complaining. I can't lose hope. I know and believe that God is with us and if God is for us who (or is it whom?) can be again' us? Apparently in my case it seems to me who is my own worse enemy. I'll work on that one later. That sounds profound but I'm getting sleepy now so It just might me by delirium from sleep deprivation.
The short story without the tangets if you were wondering:
slowwww subway line 4-5
late to interview (615pm est) and got there at 630
interview went well
what the @#%$%^@ am I interviewing for a volunteer position for?
cold evening, pleasant walking
nice play dull in some parts and long but it was a good performance
even colder evening and tired
took subway, deviated from normal routine and waited to transfer
still waiting for transfer
got the transfer and exited to transfer again, ended up waiting
still waiting, and waiting
got the train to our stop.
If it was colder before this was really cold and walked home.
home by 1230, cooked ramen, cup broke, now typing, will take a shower and
sleep.
and rinse
and repeat.
adios...It's been therapeutic (good for me but bad reading for you.),
Vin
This is therapeutic as well, don't get to do it enough in the nyc
It started out well. Forecast Fox was telling me that we have a weather advisor alert (temps at 32 degrees at night) and the morning weather was something like in the 40's feeling hi 30's.
I woke up, was anticipating going to an interview for a volunteer position working at the Grace institute in new york (google it). I found it using volunteermatch.org. A pretty worthwhile site. I was figuring that this would give me practice interviewing as well as broaden my networking abilities since I know next to zilch people here in NY.
Then after that I'd go with my wife to this Shakespeare performance in Columbia (kings something or other play group) and they were to perform their rendition of the merchant of Venice.
Those were our plans for the evening. So in the morning and afternoons I'd hang out do some emailing and shopping. I even got an email from an old co-worker that up and left Los Angeles for the cloudy skies of Oregon. That was neat she emailed me. I hope she emails back as she has an interesting personality and an excellent bullshitter (see my interests). We could talk... I mean work... and converse all the same and just BS to our hearts content. The day sure went by fast. We even devised a way to pick lotto numbers (trying to beat the system) as well as figure out what we'd do with our shares of the winnings and how much better the world would be if we were in charge. Yeah, Rock and Roll in the white house, Integrity, style. All the things the whitehouse has lacked in the past. (oh, if you go to google, input failure in their search field and click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, it will be a blast).
Arghr. Enough tangents, were was I... Yeah, things were going swell but then all of a sudden I started to feel like crap. full of angst and doubt and self pity I guess. Gosh, I hate that. Must be part of the chemical imbalance or something. Just hit me. I don't know. ( I know in a previous post I'd swore i'd not replicate/duplicate what I'd done in my old journals, being sappy and all moody and morose but it seems I can't aviod it. sigh. At least I won't be pining after any females anymore. I read some of my old journal entries to my wife and it was embarrassing. It was like flllliiiiip...february...I met this girl...Flllliiiip...july...why do I feel this way about her....Fllllliiiiip...november...I talked to her today....Ayyyee. I'd never had thought twice about it until i re-read it. Kinda sad though. I use to write some of these women and do "romantic" types of gestures... Back then we had no email so this was paper and cards mind you... and I don't do that for my wife. when she went to school for a semester, i'd only sent her about 2-3 cards. I guess there is a object lesson here or something and I should do something nice and thoughtful for her).
ugh, another tangent. where was I?... Oh, feeling sorry for myself and self pitying. I think I'm getting over that "episode" at the moment. I guess this blogging stuff works. Better than Prozac with out the side affects! or is the effects?... I'm thinking for a medication it would be both...
So, things are well and I shouldn't be complaining. I can't lose hope. I know and believe that God is with us and if God is for us who (or is it whom?) can be again' us? Apparently in my case it seems to me who is my own worse enemy. I'll work on that one later. That sounds profound but I'm getting sleepy now so It just might me by delirium from sleep deprivation.
The short story without the tangets if you were wondering:
slowwww subway line 4-5
late to interview (615pm est) and got there at 630
interview went well
what the @#%$%^@ am I interviewing for a volunteer position for?
cold evening, pleasant walking
nice play dull in some parts and long but it was a good performance
even colder evening and tired
took subway, deviated from normal routine and waited to transfer
still waiting for transfer
got the transfer and exited to transfer again, ended up waiting
still waiting, and waiting
got the train to our stop.
If it was colder before this was really cold and walked home.
home by 1230, cooked ramen, cup broke, now typing, will take a shower and
sleep.
and rinse
and repeat.
adios...It's been therapeutic (good for me but bad reading for you.),
Vin
This is therapeutic as well, don't get to do it enough in the nyc
posted by Lenard James Akkar at
10:56 PM
1 Comments:
and rinse and repeat ....
= D
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